The story below is a true one; names have been changed to
protect the identity of those who were involved.
This is a story about a fairly good friend of mine and
fellow Peace Corps Volunteer, Jean Jacques. Jean Jacques will henceforth be referred to simply as
Jacques for the sake of this story as to help ease the heavy burden of the
writer. Jacques arrived in
Cameroon early June 2011 and was part of the Small Business/Education training
group for incoming volunteers. For
three grueling months he was put through rigorous language, cross-culture,
security and technical training all of which he passed with flying colors. At the end of the three-month training
period, Jacques was sent to the Extreme North region for a two-year assignment
as a Business Advising volunteer.
Jacques integration into his new host community was quick,
painless and quite frankly unparalleled.
He was often seen giving casual low fives, fist bumps and charismatic
finger points to passers-by. After
a few short weeks, the movie-reel paradise that was Jacques life quickly took a
turn for the worst. On a very
sunny and hot day Jacques realized that he had a cut on his ankle, not a very
big one just a little guy, the kind that easily goes unnoticed for a day or
two. He probably got the cut while
delivering a baby or rescuing hurt savannah animals or something like that, we
will never know for sure.
Being an extraordinarily clean and hygienic person, Jacques
treated his small cut immediately and often. Despite his painstaking efforts to keep the open wound
wrapped up and sterilized, it still got infected. Unfortunately for Jacques and everyone else who had to see
it, the infection kept getting worse.
After a couple weeks the wound had grown much larger and deeper forcing
Jacques to travel to the capital city, Yaoundé, and seek medical treatment. When he arrived in Yaoundé, some very
unfortunate news was given to Jacques, this was not just a regular infection
but was actually a very rare and dangerous flesh-eating bacteria that was
taking over his entire ankle.
Jacques was forced to stay in Yaoundé for a couple months
for regular hospital visits and medication, the wound was too serious for Peace
Corps to allow him to return to his post in the Extreme North. Several weeks after becoming a regular
at the hospital, he went in for a scheduled check-up. To his surprise a new nurse was working that day, one that
he had not met yet. As usual,
Jacques had a large and very apparent bandage on his right ankle which was made
even more obvious as it bulged out of his crock.
The doctor entered the room and spoke briefly to the nurse
explaining to her what needed to be done.
He told her to take a swab of the infection on his foot so they could
then test it and monitor the progress.
The two medical professionals spoke very quickly and in French so it was
difficult for Jacques to follow. When
the doctor left, the nurse confidently asked Jacques to remove his shorts. Confused, he reluctantly complied. He slid his shorts off and was standing
in front of the nurse in only his boxers.
She looked at him and said “no, everything”. Again, Jacques was very confused, he came to the hospital to
get a routine swab of his foot something that he had done many times in the
last few weeks and he had never been asked to remove his pants. He thought to himself, “hey, this is a
hospital, they must know something I don’t” so he went with it. Jacques, dropped his boxers and the
nurse pulled out a long q-tip.
Fear filled his eyes and his heart started racing, Jacques tried to
explain to the nurse that there was no problem with his man area and that the
problem was strictly with the foot.
She was unrelenting; before he knew it she had shoved the q-tip inside
of his member. At this exact
moment the doctor walked in and was in shock “what are you doing” he yelled to
the nurse. “J’ai dit pied, PIED!”
(“I said foot, FOOT!”)
Bummer for Jacques, it ends up that the word for foot in French “pied”
(pee-aye) can sound a lot like the word penis “pénis” (pay-nee).
It was all just a small error in communication. The nurse took the q-tip out, shrugged
her shoulders and casually tossed it in the trash. Infuriated, Jacques looked down at her and said “Really, you’re
not even gunna test it?”